Current Main Cast
 Clango Cyclotron is a robot. He's also one of the last nice guys left.
He's as red-blooded male as a robot can be and dated Maura for quite a while. They broke up after he caught her with Electron Mike. He dated Pale Suzie for a time afterwards, and is currently recovering from a self-inflicted hard drive failure brought about by a giant magnet.
 Maura Glee used to work in "internet entertainment" and retired the moment she had enough cash to retire in style. She didn't date for about three years. Boys just didn't appeal to her and girls... didn't work out. She dated Clango quite happily for a time but had a bit of a drinking problem.
After a drunken tryst with Electron Mike, Clango broke up with her and she is currently low on friends and motivation.
 Indie Rock Pete makes an art out of being a poseur. He really likes lots of bands "until they sell out and have a song on the radio." He was a punk for about 7 minutes, but no girls fell for it.
His many failed romances include Pale Suzie, Allie Veg & Kaitlyn is the Reason.
Pete will never get what he wants, because then he'd have to hate it.
 Metal Steve is the truly rocking natural enemy of Indie Rock Pete. Steve hates what he sees as the poseur-iffic nature of Indie and Pete hates anyone who purports to rock more than he does. Metal Steve is saving himself for marriage, much to Lil' Sis' chagrin.
He has tasted many beers, yet refuses to hook up with drunk girls.
 Lil' Sis is Maura's younger Sister. She's a bit of a meanie, but is a lot smarter than most people think. If any character knows the most of the others, it's her.
She is currently pursuing a career in dentistry and enjoys the troubles of others.
Lil' Sis' real name has only been uttered once in the history of this comic strip.
 Red Robot #C-63 is the sworn enemy of all humans. His hatred of all things organic has not stopped him from having failed relationships with women. He is currently extremely wealthy.
He originally appear on the website Exploding Dog.
 Electron Mike is into newness for the sake of newness. He's in the strange position of being anal and orderly, yet absolutely loves the new and novel.
He's that guy that can't help but buy a brand-new cell phone and will FREAK if you get fingerprints on the screen.
He has also never tasted beer, but is not above hooking up with drunk girls.
She used to go out with Indie Rock Pete and while she thinks IRP is an OK joe, her heart is with Clango.
The only problem is Clango accidentally wiped too much of his own memory and doesn't remember her.
Pale Suzie is also a part-time furry who dresses as a half-koala, half-cat, half-human space princess from Planet Gnome.
Secondary Cast and Random Weirdos
 Eve is a silver-tongued, bipolar Marxist Ashkenazi with an erotic yen for boys, girls and robots. She changes lifestyles more often than many of her friends change pants. She is recovering from putting the moves on Maura, which is gross because she used to date Maura's Lil' Sis.
 Nipples the Bear is a cartoonist who thinks he is a bear. He likes it when you touch his soft fur. It's best if you don't ask about who he's dated. For the sake of your families.
His arch foes include Adolf Hitler and the hunter who shot Bambi's mother.
 Charles is black without necessarily being a brother, Canadian without being a drunk and a mild-mannered computer nerd who tries his best to be a decent human being.
Charles has recently become a little more laid-back and luckier with the ladies. It may be due to having seen Revenge of the Sith.
 Collin "Doc" Cunningham is Clango's therapist and robo-chiropractor. He has been doing general maintenance on our hero since his original date of manufacture, August 14, 1997.
He tries to be a good doctor, but doesn't always have a lot of sympathy for Clango's inability to understand basic human interaction.
 Joel used to maintain Maura's website, but never got to farm her server. He's got the hots for Lil' Sis but never did anything about it. He actually treats Clango with respect, which should not be odd enough to note on this page.
 Torpor is a strong, helpful dim-witted robot. He is yellow and lifts things when asked nicely. He hates people who lie or bicker.
Torpor is one of the nicest people around. He also tends to die.
 Johnny Toaster is one of Clango's best and oldest friends. He makes bread even better.
If only all our careers could be so fulfilling.
 Uncle Grandpa is Clango's monochrome father figure. He hates the cats because of their hair and dander.
He also somehow manages to date attractive, human women even though he is the ripe old age of 21.
 Roger the Cat and Jon Stamos are Clango's cats. Roger was once run off by Maura where he was saved from the hobo lifestyle by Red Robot. Hiss!
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