maura, roger the cat : in bed, sleeping, head under covers, bureau, bedside, zzznnooorrgh maow maow maow maow you know, i might be better at feeding you if you let me sleep.  be smart! play the long game. zzz sleeping cat

Get Your Healthy Eight Meals Per Day

Cats: Why even bother trying to negotiate with them?

– @rstevens



otakate, lord taco puss cat : thank you for making me an honorary cat, boss! !!! i promise i won't let you down! maow maow disgusting human! you have already failed me! mew mew mew mew a cat does not ask for permission! MAAOWWW and a true cat certainly never cares what anyone else thinks!

Standards of Behavior

What's the one thing that cats never ask for?

– @rstevens



otakate, lord taco puss cat : do you want to live the best life you can? mew mew mew mew mew yes, i super do! maaaoowww? do you want to be fully ultimate self-actualized?! then you need my best-selling book on how to become a CAT maow maow maow but i'm not a cat. THAt's WHY YOU NEED MY BOOK! mew

Nine Lives to a Better Life

Someone should hire me to write Lord Taco-Puss's self-help book.

– @rstevens



lil sis, csstine : holding phone you there! thought leader! what say you about my latest tweet? i haven't looked. surely you saw- i deleted all my apps until the world becomes less horrifying. but how will you see my hilarious memes?! feel free to go fax yourself.

Just Say Nokia

Tonight's comic wants to know if you saw its latest tweet.

– @rstevens



indie rock pete, maura : writing is too hard. not if you pick a subject you truly care about. of course! i can utilize my limitless expertise! in what field? art? music? history? i'll write a book about how great i am! are you sure that's a good idea? comedy is hard.

Write What You Know

Tonight's comic is about how writing is too hard.

– @rstevens



indie rock pete, maura, holding phone : i wish i had the attention span to write a book. hang on a second. you've written 150,000 tweets. that's not the same thing! one hundred fifty thousand tweets. tweets are totally different. true. you can edit a book.

WE'LL DO IT LIVE

I wish I had the attention span to write a book.

– @rstevens



red robot, freyja : flames background i hate humanity! except you. whoa there! i never agreed to represent the human race. that's the point! 	wouldn't you rather the leader of the world be someone who desired the power? wait for it. ooooohhhh exactly.

Voluntary Representation

I HATE HUMANITY!

Except you.

– @rstevens



gamer gabe, csstine : why are you always so mean to me?! whatever happened to punching up? just because you have bad self-esteem doesn't mean i'm punching down. that's not how it feels to me. wow! maybe it can learn empathy.

Self-Reflection is an Oxymoron

EDITOR'S NOTE: This is precisely as much character development as Gamer Gabe will probably ever get.

– @rstevens



gamer gabe, csstine : blargh! i'm so sick of p.c. culture!!! yes! i totally agree! building a p.c. isn't worth it! game consoles are vastly easierif this was twitter... ...you'd send eggs after me because you can't think of a comeback? why-uhh-i'll fuhh-umm aww, is baby's princess in another castle?

Driver Conflicts Build Character

Oh no!!! Gamer Gabe is sick of P.C. Culture!!!

– @rstevens



pale suzie, lord taco puss : what's up, trouble? hisss trouble? me?! i am the protagonist in my own story, human! screee how dare you imply that just because i am a dangerous beast, you are the hero of this narrative! SCREEE ready for dinner? mewwwww hearts food bowl nom bowl cat food i love you so very, very much!!!

Hiro Protagonist

What's up, trouble?

– @rstevens



pale suzie, lord taco puss : who's a good kitty? maww i suppose it depends on your value system. are you a good kitty? are we going by confirmed kills? yes, you are a good kitty! mew! because i have taken more than my fair share of souls to meet the reaper. i love my kitty. mrrrrr perhaps you shall be next.

Measuring Morality

Who's a good kitty? Are YOU a good kitty?

– @rstevens



spider-man, pale suzie, lord taco puss, holding cat : spidey-sense oh, spidey! i'm so sorry about this. hiss i know you're not a threat or a menace. hiss i keep telling him about your heroic exploits, but he- fake mews

Jolly Jonah Jameson Has a Posse

Tonight's comic: THREAT or MENACE??

β˜Ÿβ¬‡β˜Ÿβ¬‡β˜Ÿβ¬‡β˜ŸοΈŽ

IT'S ALMOST
VALENTINE'S DAY

– @rstevens



roger the cat, clango : ? greetings, fellow nudist! how are you enjoying the refreshing wind blasting nature all up in your tingly bits this fine day? mew! i'm not a nudist. then where are your pants? maow maow maow!!! i didn't leave pants! pants left me!

Stay Wild. Stay Free.

GREETINGS, FELLOW NUDIST!

β˜Ÿβ¬‡β˜Ÿβ¬‡β˜Ÿβ¬‡β˜ŸοΈŽ

IT'S ALMOST
VALENTINE'S DAY

– @rstevens



roger the cat, csstine : mew mew mew mew i didn't block you! maow maow maow how should i know why you can't see my posts? am i seriously about to explain Algorithms to a cat? grrr hey! not all humans voted the same way. mew

Weighty Matters

Tonight's comic is about an insecure cat.

– @rstevens



red robot, torpor : you're always so happy. it's unnerving! hooray! you enjoy messing with me! i knew you weren't perfect! hooray! i feel better now that i know your dark secret. hooray! you're just happy because i'm happy, aren't you? hooray!

The Secret of Happiness

You're always so happy. IT'S UNNERVING!

– @rstevens



red robot, torpor : arms up torpor! join me in my mission to bring ultimate evil into the world! but red robot, you're already in the world. i hate you. hooray!

World Champion!

PRO TIP: Flattery will get you everywhere.

– @rstevens



red robot : arms up flames fire : i have dedicated my life to the craft of pure evil. but all this world rewards is mediocre shittiness. i guess i'll have to try harder.

Never Lower Your Standards

Tonight's comic is proud to be evil.

– @rstevens



csstine, red robot : arms up red robot, do you believe in evil? i believe in myself. does that count? you're cranky, but i don't know if you count as 'evil' nowadays. how dare you. you're definitely sassy. and pretty inconvenient! but but but gotta keep up with the times, man. shitty is not the same as evil!!!

Do you believe in Evil?

Or are you just into hard-core banality?

– @rstevens



pale suzie, clango : flames fire head your cat pooped in my coffee! for free?! why would i pay to get pooped on? hey, i don't judge. anyway, i demand satisfaction! i thought you already got pooped on? i said that i didn't judge.

Droppings Some Science

Tonight's comic is about getting pooped on.

– @rstevens



pale suzie, john stamos kitten, coffee maker, coffee cup, poop, splash, upside down : maow maow maow maow i do respect your perspective. even though i do not share it- POOT we are done talking sploosh

In a Punchbowl

Tonight's comic is about when you should respect differing opinions.

– @rstevens



clango, roger the cat, scratching post : look at you! keeping busy! scratch scratch staying productive! living a normal life. not letting anything stress you out! FWOOMP first and smoke

Healthy Activity

When things are stressful, there's only one thing you can do.

– @rstevens



pale suzie, torpor : head on fire how are things, torpor? better with you, best lovely human friend! how do you manage to stay so positive? easy simple pants! torpor is a 64-core super- computer dedicated solely to calculating positive outcomes at all time. computers get more amazing every day. yes... more... amazing...

The Bright Side

How does Torpor stay so positive?

– @rstevens



pale suzie, maura : facts are real, right? i believe that's the point. but feelings are also real, right? that kinda depends who you ask. how am i supposed to choose one over the other? it's not either or! unless you're doing science, engineering, math, or anything else where ignoring reality can get people killed.

Quantify Me a River

TELL THE TRUTH. Are facts real?

– @rstevens



pale suzie, maura : coffee pot, coffee mugs, drinking coffee, do you put anything in your coffee? gurgle burgle just all my hopes and dreams that today might be even slightly better than yesterday. is almond milk ok? i'm sure that will be fine, just like everything else. ...

Nothing is Too Dark for Coffee

Tonight's comic wants to know if you put anything in your coffee.

– @rstevens



gamer gabe, freyja, otakate : how you been? as well as can be expected on planet earth! i was feeling doomed but now i'm just furious. always look at the excruciatingly bright side of life! it's weird that i'm what counts as an optimist these days. it's been a real privilege to watch your fists work. manbaby need doctor should we take him to a hospital? and disrespect his self-reliance?!

I'M COMING IN HOT

I really missed writing comics about Freyja.

– @rstevens



gamer gabe, freyja, otakate : ALT-COOL shirt woo!!! no rules! i don't have to pretend to be nice to anyone anymore! POW! he's right. we don't have to pretend to be nice anymore.

Always Be Punching

Tonight's comic is about punching.

– @rstevens



csstine, maura : how you doing today? i'm trying not to think about it. think about what? exactly! how long do you think this will work? i'll take what i can get.

Deny Everything

Tonight's comic wants to know how you're doing today.

OK, long story short: I visited my favorite building and am doing a tiny run of t-shirts next week in its honor. Want one?

– @rstevens





SECRET SHIRT DO NOT CLICK



maura, roger the cat : in bed, sleeping, head under covers, bureau, bedside, zzznnooorrgh maow maow maow maow you know, i might be better at feeding you if you let me sleep.  be smart! play the long game. zzz sleeping cat

Get Your Healthy Eight Meals Per Day

Cats: Why even bother trying to negotiate with them?

– @rstevens


otakate, lord taco puss cat : thank you for making me an honorary cat, boss! !!! i promise i won't let you down! maow maow disgusting human! you have already failed me! mew mew mew mew a cat does not ask for permission! MAAOWWW and a true cat certainly never cares what anyone else thinks!

Standards of Behavior

What's the one thing that cats never ask for?

– @rstevens


otakate, lord taco puss cat : do you want to live the best life you can? mew mew mew mew mew yes, i super do! maaaoowww? do you want to be fully ultimate self-actualized?! then you need my best-selling book on how to become a CAT maow maow maow but i'm not a cat. THAt's WHY YOU NEED MY BOOK! mew

Nine Lives to a Better Life

Someone should hire me to write Lord Taco-Puss's self-help book.

– @rstevens


lil sis, csstine : holding phone you there! thought leader! what say you about my latest tweet? i haven't looked. surely you saw- i deleted all my apps until the world becomes less horrifying. but how will you see my hilarious memes?! feel free to go fax yourself.

Just Say Nokia

Tonight's comic wants to know if you saw its latest tweet.

– @rstevens


indie rock pete, maura : writing is too hard. not if you pick a subject you truly care about. of course! i can utilize my limitless expertise! in what field? art? music? history? i'll write a book about how great i am! are you sure that's a good idea? comedy is hard.

Write What You Know

Tonight's comic is about how writing is too hard.

– @rstevens


indie rock pete, maura, holding phone : i wish i had the attention span to write a book. hang on a second. you've written 150,000 tweets. that's not the same thing! one hundred fifty thousand tweets. tweets are totally different. true. you can edit a book.

WE'LL DO IT LIVE

I wish I had the attention span to write a book.

– @rstevens


red robot, freyja : flames background i hate humanity! except you. whoa there! i never agreed to represent the human race. that's the point! 	wouldn't you rather the leader of the world be someone who desired the power? wait for it. ooooohhhh exactly.

Voluntary Representation

I HATE HUMANITY!

Except you.

– @rstevens


gamer gabe, csstine : why are you always so mean to me?! whatever happened to punching up? just because you have bad self-esteem doesn't mean i'm punching down. that's not how it feels to me. wow! maybe it can learn empathy.

Self-Reflection is an Oxymoron

EDITOR'S NOTE: This is precisely as much character development as Gamer Gabe will probably ever get.

– @rstevens


gamer gabe, csstine : blargh! i'm so sick of p.c. culture!!! yes! i totally agree! building a p.c. isn't worth it! game consoles are vastly easierif this was twitter... ...you'd send eggs after me because you can't think of a comeback? why-uhh-i'll fuhh-umm aww, is baby's princess in another castle?

Driver Conflicts Build Character

Oh no!!! Gamer Gabe is sick of P.C. Culture!!!

– @rstevens


pale suzie, lord taco puss : what's up, trouble? hisss trouble? me?! i am the protagonist in my own story, human! screee how dare you imply that just because i am a dangerous beast, you are the hero of this narrative! SCREEE ready for dinner? mewwwww hearts food bowl nom bowl cat food i love you so very, very much!!!

Hiro Protagonist

What's up, trouble?

– @rstevens


pale suzie, lord taco puss : who's a good kitty? maww i suppose it depends on your value system. are you a good kitty? are we going by confirmed kills? yes, you are a good kitty! mew! because i have taken more than my fair share of souls to meet the reaper. i love my kitty. mrrrrr perhaps you shall be next.

Measuring Morality

Who's a good kitty? Are YOU a good kitty?

– @rstevens


spider-man, pale suzie, lord taco puss, holding cat : spidey-sense oh, spidey! i'm so sorry about this. hiss i know you're not a threat or a menace. hiss i keep telling him about your heroic exploits, but he- fake mews

Jolly Jonah Jameson Has a Posse

Tonight's comic: THREAT or MENACE??

β˜Ÿβ¬‡β˜Ÿβ¬‡β˜Ÿβ¬‡β˜ŸοΈŽ

IT'S ALMOST
VALENTINE'S DAY

– @rstevens


roger the cat, clango : ? greetings, fellow nudist! how are you enjoying the refreshing wind blasting nature all up in your tingly bits this fine day? mew! i'm not a nudist. then where are your pants? maow maow maow!!! i didn't leave pants! pants left me!

Stay Wild. Stay Free.

GREETINGS, FELLOW NUDIST!

β˜Ÿβ¬‡β˜Ÿβ¬‡β˜Ÿβ¬‡β˜ŸοΈŽ

IT'S ALMOST
VALENTINE'S DAY

– @rstevens


roger the cat, csstine : mew mew mew mew i didn't block you! maow maow maow how should i know why you can't see my posts? am i seriously about to explain Algorithms to a cat? grrr hey! not all humans voted the same way. mew

Weighty Matters

Tonight's comic is about an insecure cat.

– @rstevens


red robot, torpor : you're always so happy. it's unnerving! hooray! you enjoy messing with me! i knew you weren't perfect! hooray! i feel better now that i know your dark secret. hooray! you're just happy because i'm happy, aren't you? hooray!

The Secret of Happiness

You're always so happy. IT'S UNNERVING!

– @rstevens


red robot, torpor : arms up torpor! join me in my mission to bring ultimate evil into the world! but red robot, you're already in the world. i hate you. hooray!

World Champion!

PRO TIP: Flattery will get you everywhere.

– @rstevens


red robot : arms up flames fire : i have dedicated my life to the craft of pure evil. but all this world rewards is mediocre shittiness. i guess i'll have to try harder.

Never Lower Your Standards

Tonight's comic is proud to be evil.

– @rstevens


csstine, red robot : arms up red robot, do you believe in evil? i believe in myself. does that count? you're cranky, but i don't know if you count as 'evil' nowadays. how dare you. you're definitely sassy. and pretty inconvenient! but but but gotta keep up with the times, man. shitty is not the same as evil!!!

Do you believe in Evil?

Or are you just into hard-core banality?

– @rstevens


pale suzie, clango : flames fire head your cat pooped in my coffee! for free?! why would i pay to get pooped on? hey, i don't judge. anyway, i demand satisfaction! i thought you already got pooped on? i said that i didn't judge.

Droppings Some Science

Tonight's comic is about getting pooped on.

– @rstevens


pale suzie, john stamos kitten, coffee maker, coffee cup, poop, splash, upside down : maow maow maow maow i do respect your perspective. even though i do not share it- POOT we are done talking sploosh

In a Punchbowl

Tonight's comic is about when you should respect differing opinions.

– @rstevens


clango, roger the cat, scratching post : look at you! keeping busy! scratch scratch staying productive! living a normal life. not letting anything stress you out! FWOOMP first and smoke

Healthy Activity

When things are stressful, there's only one thing you can do.

– @rstevens


pale suzie, torpor : head on fire how are things, torpor? better with you, best lovely human friend! how do you manage to stay so positive? easy simple pants! torpor is a 64-core super- computer dedicated solely to calculating positive outcomes at all time. computers get more amazing every day. yes... more... amazing...

The Bright Side

How does Torpor stay so positive?

– @rstevens


pale suzie, maura : facts are real, right? i believe that's the point. but feelings are also real, right? that kinda depends who you ask. how am i supposed to choose one over the other? it's not either or! unless you're doing science, engineering, math, or anything else where ignoring reality can get people killed.

Quantify Me a River

TELL THE TRUTH. Are facts real?

– @rstevens


pale suzie, maura : coffee pot, coffee mugs, drinking coffee, do you put anything in your coffee? gurgle burgle just all my hopes and dreams that today might be even slightly better than yesterday. is almond milk ok? i'm sure that will be fine, just like everything else. ...

Nothing is Too Dark for Coffee

Tonight's comic wants to know if you put anything in your coffee.

– @rstevens


gamer gabe, freyja, otakate : how you been? as well as can be expected on planet earth! i was feeling doomed but now i'm just furious. always look at the excruciatingly bright side of life! it's weird that i'm what counts as an optimist these days. it's been a real privilege to watch your fists work. manbaby need doctor should we take him to a hospital? and disrespect his self-reliance?!

I'M COMING IN HOT

I really missed writing comics about Freyja.

– @rstevens


gamer gabe, freyja, otakate : ALT-COOL shirt woo!!! no rules! i don't have to pretend to be nice to anyone anymore! POW! he's right. we don't have to pretend to be nice anymore.

Always Be Punching

Tonight's comic is about punching.

– @rstevens


csstine, maura : how you doing today? i'm trying not to think about it. think about what? exactly! how long do you think this will work? i'll take what i can get.

Deny Everything

Tonight's comic wants to know how you're doing today.

OK, long story short: I visited my favorite building and am doing a tiny run of t-shirts next week in its honor. Want one?

– @rstevens




footr